Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
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