Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
