Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
