Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
