we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
