me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
