Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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