He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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