Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
