I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
