Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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