OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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