therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
