BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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