She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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