i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
