Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
