I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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