Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
