I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize