Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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