He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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