I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
