I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
All the doctor said was why
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
