By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
