chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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