OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
