What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
