I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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