the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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