I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
