I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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