She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
These tits shall not be calmed
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
