My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
