I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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