So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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