Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
