I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
