fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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