im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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