if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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