Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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