I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
