your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
