I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize