I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
