More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
