I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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