This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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