opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
