two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize