We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize