and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
vagina is talking i cant
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
