The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
