I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
