What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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