just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
