We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh god it's open bar.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
