Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
