I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
