Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
