so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
